Destruction of the Black Family is another byproduct or symptom of Post Traumatic Slave Disorder. This includes both divorce and having children outside of wedlock leading to single parent households. Both are the breakdown of the basic marriage and family structure. The Black Family must stay together. We will be stronger together than we ever will be apart. Children growing up without fathers must come to an end. You see, we must stop thinking only of our individual selves, but also think about the next generation.
During times of slavery, our ancestors had no choice, if they got married, either the husband or wife could have been sold to another master at anytime. Their lives did not belong to them. Marriage was a dream that could be taken away anytime the master wanted. If the master wanted to sleep with his slave's wife, he could. There was no true concept of the idea of marriage, at least none we could experience. Now, today, our view of marriage is one of impermanence as if we can go in and out of marriage with ease. We still dream of marriage and family, but it still remains just a fairy tale for most. This contributes to having children outside of wedlock without both parents in the home. Boys and girls grow up with only one parent. This was not how family was designed. Women cannot teach boys how to become men just as men cannot teach girls how to become women.
So, how do families stick together? How can we save the Black marriage? It takes resolve. You must be committed to the marriage no matter what. However, every situation is different. Adultery or having an abusive partner must not be tolerated. Ultimately, only you know if you have to leave the relationship, but do whatever you can to save it if it's possible. Often, we give up too easily. Marriage takes work, we have to fight for it everyday. There is no happily ever after. There will be tough times, communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, and arguments. Yet through it all, we must commit to the relationship.
Practically, it helps to have other married friends. Like everything, marriage is a team sport, but not just with your spouse, but with mentors and friends. It takes everyone in your life to help keep your marriage together. You and your spouse should frequently spend time with other couples. This reinforces both marriages as iron sharpens iron. This is probably the single most helpful thing you can do for your marriage, but do this early and often. The relationships you build as couples outside the marriage will help when you hit those speedbumps. Lastly, educate yourself on marriage, how to make it work. Read about it, study it, ask your friends about it. You got to be bold and humble enough to ask for help and advise.
Marriage is powerful. When done right, we can change the course of history. Families have created dynasties in business, sports, and government through team work and committing to each other. This applies not just to marriage, although that has been our focus, but also to other familial relationships. Support your family as you as able and as it makes sense. Nothing is more powerful than a family united. It's time we build the Black family.
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